


Erect Christmas.

by Albme94



Category: SovietCyanide, SovietWomble - Fandom
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Smut, Cute, Cyanide is an ass, Dog - Freeform, Gay, I Ship It, Lovehate, Lulu - Freeform, M/M, Male on Male, Masturbation, Member, Messenger, Penises, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sarcasm, ZF group - Freeform, both are idiots, both want it, consenting ofc, dont try this at home, feelings under all that hate, helpful masturbation, helping a friend in need, i cant remember people ok, im currently watching left 4 dead video they did that lasts 2hours and im 53 minutes in, kaffe try to help, sarcastic, sovietwomblefanfiction, womble is also an ass, zf clan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 19:57:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17168378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albme94/pseuds/Albme94
Summary: //"What?!""No no, go with it-""What the hell is this??""Womble, Womble Womble, just go with it""Jesus, fine... go on."//





	Erect Christmas.

"What on earth are these?" Soviet had just opened a package with his name on it, "bloody hell... they're massive? Fuck" He picked up a yellow pill, he circled it around over the light "where did these come from? What the fuck are they?!" 

He tried to find anything with them in the box, a note, a order pamphlet, anything.

He found a bottle of Fanta grape, sealed shut. With a note on it 'for swallow reasons', Womble sat there confused; nobody knew where he lived and so it couldn't have been a fan? Did they find out who he was? Where he lived?

 

He opened up messenger and wrote to the ZF group:

Soviet: 'hey guys, i just got this in the mail and I have no idea what they are or where they came from.' He sent a picture of the box and items. 

Several people are typing.

Kaffe: 'if I didn't know any better, that looks like a weird form for viagra.' 

 

After a few minutes of back and forth with the group they came to that it wasn't safe to take them and that he should flush them.

He opened one of the pills to look at the powder, he deemed the bottle to be safe and took a huge chug out of it.

He sat like Rafiki with the powder and drinking soda with the other hand.

"Its like a Christmas gift I didn't ask for..."

 

"Ah fuck it, it could be poison." He got up and put them back into the box and placed it on a table "make sure Lulu don't get it, flush later, eat now."

He cooked some meatballs, that he rolled in flour, and veggies; he watched some YouTube and fought off Lulu who wanted some.

 

"Oooh~ who's a wittle girl? Wyes you're a wittle girl~" he picked her up and made kissy noises, "let's go out, maybe we'll see any cats" he smiled, Lulu jumped up and down.

After what seemed like a long walk, they closed up to their flat again. Womble felt his body shift, his stomach twisted and turned, it was a known feeling but... He couldn't place a finger on it.

He let her in and fed her, "was the meatballs bad?" He asked himself looking at the date "no they're fine..."

He didn't need to throw up or shit, so he walked back into his room.

 

He laid down on the bed and drank the last of the Fanta, he felt the tired creep on, he closed his eyes.

He woke to the intense feeling of need.

He turned on the lights, "ooof, what the hell--" he looked down "what the fuck?!" His member was fully erect, painfully so.

 

He stood up and pulled down his pants, the cold air gave him shivers, he pulled his pants carefully over again and sat down at his computer.

'Hey Cyainde?' He wrote on a private chat, hoped it would stay that way.

 

'Hey', he answered quickly.

'Are you busy right now or can I ask you something?' Womble bit the bottom of his lip, he tried not to think about the throbbing.

'I'm free, go on.' 

'Have you ever woken up with a boner so bad it hurts?' Womble wrote before quickly adding 'hypothetically' 

 

He saw the icon of typing go and disappear a few times before Cyanide finally answered.

'Uh, why do you ask?'

'Hypothetical question, Cyanide.'

'Not unless I took something or maybe you hypothetically had a wet dream?'

Soviet looked at his pants, no stains.

'No to either of those' 

'What's going on?' Cyanide wrote, 'Is this about that box you sent a picture of earlier? Did you take one of them?'

'No! I put the box away' He felt kinda odd about if Cyanide saw the chat, why didn't he add anything? 

 

Suddenly the chat rang, and he didn't even get to greet him before being cut off.

''You didn't touch or take anything from the box?'' Cyanide continued talking, his voice was higher than usual.

"No! I told you, I didn't touch anyth--" he stopped and looked at the bottle "oh god... oh no" 

 

"What? What??" 

"There was a bottle of Fanta--" Womble picked it up from the floor "- but it was sealed! It was safe!"

"Wait wait, in a box of viagra, there was a bottle and you thought it was safe?... Are you an idiot?"

"Oh god what have I done??" Womble ran his fingers through his hair, "fuck."

 

He could hear Cyanide sigh through the headset, "Womble" he said in a deep voice; it made his dick twitch.

"Hhn-- uh yeah? Yeah?" Soviet shivered.

"Are you telling me you're stone hard right now?" 

 

He wasn't sure what he felt when Cyanide talked about his dick, but it sure knew... 

"...yeah" Womble felt his face burn.

"What level are you in?"

Womble blinked rapidly "level? Cyanide its a penis not a game!"

"Hey, a joystick is a joystick."

"Oh god" what had he done, talking to Cyanide about this? 

"Well? Is it half, hard, banana or hurting?" 

"What the hell is 'banana'?" Womble's voice rose, "you know, when it's tilted upwards?" 

 

Soviet lifted up his trousers to look down, he made a grunt and swallowed.

"... Are you checking?" Cyanide broke the silence, Womble came out of his daydreaming and let the pants go, sadly it landed on the head with some power... a muffled groan followed by "No..." from Womble.

 

"Its both, pain and banana.." He eventually said.

"Well as your physician--"

"Oh god"

"I recommend you to give yourself a prostate exam--"

"Oh fuck off-" 

"-and simply jerk off"

"But I don't want to ~" Soviet complained, "I had plans today, and I'm not in the mood" 

"So watch porn, whatever a faggot like you, are into." 

"Oh shut it" Womble giggled.

"Alright alright- how about this--" Cyanide cleared his throat, Womble sat ready. 

 

"Imagine you're all alone-- also close your eyes--"

"I am all alone"

"Yeah well more alone, anyways. You're all alone ~ You feel the pain go away~ you're naked--"

"What?!"

"No no, go with it-"

"What the hell is this??"

"Womble, Womble Womble, just go with it"

"Jesus, fine... go on."

 

"You're naked, you reach down and ghost over your legs--" Cyanide continued in his sensual voice.

Soviet's hand followed suit, his mind conflicted, his dick intrigued.

"Suddenly a hand grab your dick, it rubs its thumb over your head, pressing hard on the tip. Clockwise circles, your eyes roll back; you let your legs fall further apart."

"Uuhhuh~" Womble got into it.

Cyanide smiled, he could hear it in some of his words.

 

"Another hand rubbs the inside of your thighs, the hand on your dick put pressure on your ridge, finger tips move up and down~" Cyanide licks his lips, he could hear Womble breathing faster. 

"The skin gets pulled down, suddenly you feel something warm and wet. A tongue roll around your length, tasting you~ before swallowing you whole." 

Womble moved his hands in the way Cyanide said, he added spit for the effect.

 

"The lips and hand move up and down, slow and fast; the other hand massage your inner thigh ~ Suddenly you feel the feeling for suction, your head get fogged and you feel you're close~" Cyanide sounded out of breath himself.

"C-cyanide-- I-" Womble swallowed, he moved his hand quickly, he really felt as he was close.

 

"The lips leave your dick, but the hands return... you feel hot air on your ear..." Cyanide said playfully, "The person leans closer to you and say: Womble... cum for me." Cyanide's voice was dominating and sent vibrations through the headset and straight to Womble's dick.

Soviet moaned as he came, he shivered as his ejaculation filled his every nerve with bliss.

He was motionless for a few minutes, riding out the aftermath and coming back to earth. 

"What..." He started "What the fuck was that...Cyanide?" Womble swallowed, breath shaking.

 

"That. Was a good session." His voice was proud, "who did you think about?" He asked.

Womble sat back, he didn't originally think about anyone before he said to cum for him, which then he fully imagined Cyanide. Oh god...

 

"Oh uh... n-nobody-" Womble tried, "Oh thanks!" Cyanide said sarcastically, "I thought you'd think about me but I guess I did a bad job! You're WELCOME BY THE WAY!" 

Womble knew what he was doing, but it did feel great and--

"Fine... yes... it was you, happy now?" He sighed.

"Yes~." Cyanide said playfully and smiled.

 

"Well, I gotta go... and shower... thanks.. though" Womble's face was in the shade of primary red.

"You're welcome, oh and Womble?" 

"Hm?"

"There's a note on the inside of the label on the fanta. Okay bye~"

"Wait what?" 

He hung up.

 

"No.... No...No?" He picked up the bottle and tore off the label, and sure enough

'Hey Womble, Merry christmas! You see this hole? That's where I put the extra magic powder :)) I knew you wouldn't take them. Love, Cyanide."

 

"..." Soviet dropped the bottle, he looked at his desk, jizz everywhere, he looked at his beat meat. He felt his face burn with anger and resentment.

He tried calling him, after fifth try he answered; "Yeeees~~?" Cyanide's sweet voice couldn't help him now.

 

"YOU MASSIVE ABSOLUTE FUCKING CUNT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS THAT WAS?! WHAT IF I HAD A HEART ATTACK?!" Womble screamed, Cyanide laughed "but you liiiiked it~~" 

"THATS NOT THE POINT HERE, THE POINT IS THAT YOU POISONED ME"

"Relax~ I gave you half a dose, I didn't know you were gonna be stone hard!"

"I hate you so much, so so fucking much." Womble felt beat, and not from jerking off.

"I know you mean love~" 

Womble sighed.

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> I was gonna write a cute Christmas fiction but this happened instead so I guess?  
> Hoped you liked it:))


End file.
